Only a few days into my blogging, and I already seem to be running out of ideas. Could I write about food? Everyone writes about food, and I’m not quite culinarily skilled to food-blog. I turn to my friends for advice. Some of their suggestions (and my thoughts on them):
Girls: I could write about how girls are like flowers. Sweet as honey, soft as bread. Mmmm, honey bread.
Flowers: Girls are like flowers. You can look at them all, but when you pick them, it’s best to get just one. No wait, bouquets are awesome…
Bus Ride: The wheels on the bus go round and round like the world. As I ride upon this rubber version of the world, I can blog to the world wide web, networking from the ground up…
Women: Women are like buses. Some are large and roll round and round. Some have lots of gas.
Eugenics: The shift in the world’s population from bus-women to flower-girls.
Sunsets: The sun is a large, round woman.
Clouds: Cover the sun.
Chex Mix: Why is it so good?!
Not many of my friends have good ideas. Not many of my friends have blogs. But how about a Chinese fable?
Once upon a time there was an old man. He walked to his shop in town to work, but had to cross a huge mountain. Every day, he would pick up a few rocks from the mountain and carry them away. A young traveler saw him and called out, “Foolish old man! Why are you trying to move the mountain? You could move rocks all day and it would still be there when you died!”
The wise old man replied, “Yes, I am but one man, and I cannot move away this mountain. But I have sons who can move the mountain when it is their time. And those sons will have sons, who will move more sons. Little by little, my descendents will move the mountain until it is gone.”
The young man thought about this for moment and nodded. “Old man, you are wise indeed. Thank you for your insights into life.” He picked up his stuff and walked away, silently thanking the old man for his advice.
Later that night, the young man reached home. He called out to his wife, “Wife, I have great news. I met an old man trying to move a mountain, and I thought he was foolish indeed. But I have learned something! I want many sons! Do not produce any daughters for me, unless they can move mountains all day!”
Alternative Ending:
Later that night, the young man reached home. He called out to his wife, “Wife, I have great news. I just saved a bunch of money on my auto insurance by switching to Geico!”
And….I’m done.
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Glass Ceiling
A glass ceiling refers to one of two things: either a situation where an otherwise qualified individual cannot advance any further because of discrimination (usually gender or race), or a literal glass ceiling. The first definition is the one most commonly used, and it is a reality for so many individuals. All of the statistics citing the imbalance in the man-to-woman ratio in upper management, the low numbers of minorities in various professions, and even the discrimination that handicapped people face in everyday life – these are the glass ceilings that are “invisible” on paper, but act as real limitations and challenges.
However, we all know that glass isn’t really invisible – it’s just clearer than most objects are (linguists have dubbed this condition “transparency”). And this is why I’d rather write about real glass ceilings – those large panes of glass that cover various buildings across America. Literal glass ceilings are much easier to break through than their figurative counterparts. Apply enough force to the glass, and it will shatter. If you’re lucky and clever enough, you’ll find a glass ceiling that has an emergency exit.
But what about the physically handicapped? Doesn’t the literal and figurative cross paths – their glass ceiling is actually a glass ceiling! No problem: you can break through from the other side. You’ll need to ascend to an appropriate altitude, however. Nothing will look worse than jumping down on a glass ceiling and then bouncing off while everyone below you watches. Unless you’re oblivious to social scorn, try practicing on a concrete ceiling first. Or cover a glass one with a blanket.
Yet whichever way you break the glass ceiling, some of the glass will fly back and hit you. This is what happens to unintelligent car thieves. They break the car window and are caught soon afterward, covered with shards of glass. The intelligent thief can then steal the car with ease – the window is already broken.
Once more, this is where the literal and figurative glass ceilings (or glass in general) differ. The pioneering individuals who break racial and gender boundaries, first in the legal system (concrete ceiling) and then in reality (glass ceiling), are well respected, honored, and cherished. Those who follow after them have a much easier fight. However, the same is not true for the examples I have described above. Those who attempt to jump through ceilings of any material are locked up in mental institutions, and those who break car windows are placed in prison. Glass and concrete are answered with steel. Life is so confusing.